


Summer

by silkmoth



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Angst and Humor, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-10
Updated: 2011-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-14 15:32:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/150784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkmoth/pseuds/silkmoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting out from under the bed and facing Arthur was the right thing to do now. But Merlin couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it, he wasn’t brave enough. Hell, he wasn’t stupid enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summer

**Summer**

 _Prologue_

 _It was hot in the courtroom. Merlin knew it was important for him to pay attention, but his thoughts kept wandering. He was already so tired of all the accusations, all the insults and the rage. The King had already shouted once, and the King never shouted. Usually he got quiet when he was angry, and kind of hissed his words. Shouting was a real bad sign, but for the life of him, Merlin couldn’t seem to care. He was too tired._

 _Again, his mind started slipping away and this time he didn’t stop it. He thought about how he ended up here. It had all began with him being unbelievably stupid…  
_

***

Merlin had become too comfortable with the use of magic. Secretly, he had blamed Arthur for it. The prince had begun to rely heavily on him, leaving him to do more and more chores. There had been just no time anymore for starting a fire with flintstones, no time for mending the royal clothes manually, no time for repairing the chain mail let alone polishing it.

It wasn’t that Arthur still wanted him to muck out the stables or train his dogs. In fact, Arthur had been giving these chores to other servants. No, the Crown Prince just wanted Merlin to be at his side constantly. Knights training wasn’t too bad, Merlin was used to watch Arthur there anyway. Being with him on parol however, before dawn, was awful. He already had fallen off his horse two times, and he hadn’t liked how the guards had mocked him behind the prince’s back. And he couldn’t figure out why Arthur suddenly had decided to go on hunts at least three times a week. Always the two of them, which meant he had had to carry dead animals back to the castle. Not that the prince had actually been successful lately. He had been constantly nagging at Merlin, about his clothes, the noise he made, the way Merlin breathed. Once Arthur had stumbled over a root while he was looking at Merlin and landed on his arse. And of course, that had been Merlin’s fault, too.

Arthur also wanted him to be right there at all the meals, all the court meetings, feasts, whatever, to fill his cup. Or when there were no cups, Arthur had declared that he needed Merlin there to send him for an errand, should the situation arise. It never had.  
All that meant Merlin was now spending a lot of time in the presence of the King. It wasn’t fun to be scared to death for hours. Uther didn’t seem to notice him at all but Merlin knew that was just the King’s attitude. He would drop it the moment Merlin made one wrong move or said something wrong, or forgot something, like calling his son ‘Sire’. And then Merlin would find himself being pelted with rotten vegetables; in the best case. Since this had been a very hot summer, there would be many rotten vegetables, especially potatoes. Merlin hated potatoes; they were hard and they stank.

The only free minutes Merlin had lately were those rare moments when Uther wanted to be alone with his son, and then he had to hurry with the chain mail, the sword, the prince’s room, and whatever Arthur came up with in addition. There was no time to do it without using magic. Merlin often wondered how stupid and blind Arthur was. No one, not even Gwen (and she had amazing powers for someone without magic) could work that fast.

In the past, Merlin had had the time to read for at least two hours in the evening. Arthur had been going to bed early then. He still did. But he didn’t sleep. And he didn’t let Merlin go. There were always candles to be lit “It’s too dark in here” and then to be extinguished again “It’s too bright now” or the fire in the fireplace wasn’t right, the table needed polishing. Merlin used the wrong bedclothes, so the bed had to be made again while the prince watched. Arthur was seeing mice, “No, I don’t want a cat in here!” and so Merlin spent hours on his knees hunting down imaginary rodents. He never even saw a mouse, let alone caught one.

So, Merlin started cheating more and more. At first he felt guilty about it; he knew what Gaius would say. But no one ever noticed things, and it became… a habit, and he got better and better at starting a fire, mending all kind of things, laying out and putting away clothes, scrubbing boots. He could do all that now with one glance. He even started to use magic around Arthur. Little things, like heating the bathwater again when Arthur came in too late, or making the air in Arthur’s room a little more chilly so the prince would finally go to bed.

Merlin became careless, arrogant. But his real downfall came when he started to play tricks on Arthur. Oh, it was fun to see the Crown Prince jump because the floor was ice cold, nevermind it was August. Or to see him slip a little in the hall, here and then. Or to watch him spill red wine on Morgana, and then watch on while she yelled at him for minutes.

Then, one night, there had been a combination of several things that had doomed Merlin. On his feet since morning patrol, he had drunk some wine at the feast at night and almost had had a fight with Gaius about that. He had been scared shitless of Uther, who had been staring at him quite a few times without reason in a very weird way. The feast had been too loud, several daughters of a noble man who had just arrived (who has four daughters of age anyway?) had been circling the Crown Prince the whole night, which had been annoying as always. Tired to the bone, he had followed Arthur to the prince’s room, where the prat had decided to get difficult again. Arthur hadn’t even been in bed yet when he had started the litany of things Merlin had to do right now. Candles, fire, curtains and then… the mice again.

***

“You’re not serious, Arthur, are you?” Merlin asked in a tired voice, shoulders already slumping.

“Of course I’m serious! These dammed mice are getting on my nerves. And so are you! Why aren’t you able to catch them already? Or at least catch one!”

“There are no mice in here! Maybe you should consult Gaius, you’re imagining things. He may have some cure for you, and I may be able to have a good night’s rest now and then!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to keep you up! What was I thinking? I guess I should start catching mice myself, so my manservant can sleep all day!”

Sleep all day. Right. Merlin took a deep breath. There was no use to get upset. The arse was an arse and would remain an arse until the end of time. Another breath.

“All right, Sire, where did you see the mice tonight?” He tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but obviously failed at that.

“I didn’t see mice,” Arthur hissed while lying down. “I hear them! Right below me, under the bed. Do you know that a mouse can climb up on a bedpost? I have no desire to share my bed with some rodents!”

“I bet it wouldn’t be the first time.” Merlin mumbled.

There was silence for a minute. Then, “What did you just say?” Arthur asked in a real quiet voice.

“Nothing. Sire.” And with that, Merlin went over to the prince, dropped onto his knees and squinted under the bed. There were no mice under the bed, there were bunnies. Quite a few dust bunnies. That was all, as Merlin had already known.

“There is nothing here, Arthur. No mice, no nothing. I guess you…”

“Are you kidding me? I can hear them!” Merlin felt a hand on his arse that shoved him almost completely under the bed. “Take a better look! I’m telling you, Merlin, if I find one mouse in my bed then I will make you eat…”

At that moment, several things happened simultaneously. Merlin, quite literally, saw red. Arthur squeaked loudly, the mattress above Merlin swayed in an alarmingly way and then he heard lots of squeaking. But not from Arthur. In front of the terrified sorcerer, who had turned around by now to lay on his back under the bed, a waterfall of mice descended from the top of the mattress. There had to be dozens, no, hundreds of mice that scrambled all over in their haste to get away. Most of them vanished into cracks in the wall, a few tried to hide beneath the rugs, and quite a lot crawled out to their freedom underneath the door. Merlin heard a scream from outside in the hall, and then the shattering of plates. Obviously a kitchen maid had just met Merlin’s mice.

A deep roaring sound came from far below the castle. “MERLIN!” The dragon didn’t seem to be overjoyed. Merlin stared at the mattress above him, where he just could make out the prince’s arse. The comment from the dragon was unnecessary; Merlin already knew that this was not the way to show Arthur the truth about his magic. No, not at all.

***

There was utter silence from above. No shouting, no yelling for the guards, not even moving of any sort. Merlin was beyond being frightened, he was trembling all over, sobered up completely. Although he had learned the words of a vanishing spell by heart, he couldn’t remember one syllable. But then he couldn’t vanish anyway – Arthur would just go straight down to Gaius, and there would be hell to pay, if not for him, then for Gaius.

Merlin opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. What was there for him to say? He had always thought that Arthur would discover that his manservant was a warlock in a very dramatic moment, when Merlin had just saved the Crown Prince’s life. He would have had many arguments on his side in a moment like that; he had prepared quite a few speeches for this situation.

There were other circumstances for which Merlin had created a whole lot of other monologues… For a while now, Merlin had hoped that there were other reasons for Arthur to spend all his time with him, other than watching him fall from horses. When he had been quick enough to catch one of the prince’s glances, Merlin had seen something gentle in Arthur’s eyes, gentle and almost longing. First he had been flattered, then delighted and finally yearning. All that he had managed in five minutes. After another two minutes, he had known that he had wanted Arthur from the moment he first had seen him laughing. And since the prince was clearly the more experienced one, he had waited for Arthur to say or do something. This was why Merlin hadn’t said anything at all about the late night hours, why he hadn’t really complained. He had waited for one sign from Arthur, a sign that would have said “I like you.” Maybe even “I more than like you.” Then Merlin would have laid it all out for Arthur. He would have told him everything, hoping for trust, for forgiveness, for a smile, a hug, a kiss, throes of mad passion – Right.

But for the life of him, Merlin couldn’t think of one thing to say after he just turned the prince’s blanket into hundreds of mice.

But someone had to say something, and Merlin started to wonder if Arthur had fainted. He cleared his throat.

“Arthur?” Gods, his teeth were chattering.

“Yes, Merlin?” An eerie voice floated down to him, not sounding like Arthur at all. In fact, it sounded a little bit like Uther, and wouldn’t that be fun if Merlin somehow had swapped father and son? He swallowed.

“Is there something you want, Merlin?” No, that was Arthur. He still sounded weird, though. Well, considering the prince had just been buried under mice, that was to be expected.

“Er…” Merlin wanted many things. Like turning back time a few minutes. Or that he wouldn’t have drunk that wine. “No, not really.”

Silence again.

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Merlin?”

Merlin wondered how often they could repeat these words.

“Arthur, I’m… I’m sorry.” Brilliant. Things would be all better now. Merlin thumped his head on the floor once. Twice.

“Indeed.”

It began to weird him out. Why was Arthur so calm? Why didn’t he shout, or go for his sword, or try to grab him?

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Merlin?”

“Are you all right?”

There was a knock on the door. Merlin froze all over.

***

“Enter.”

Someone opened the door and came in. A man; Merlin could only see his boots and some part of his pants. Then he heard the very nervous voice of the stewart.

“Sire. Is everything all right with you?”

“Does it look as if something isn’t right?”

“No, Sire. It’s just that… er … Rose, one of the kitchen maids has just reported that she heard some kind of… of shout from this room and she… she saw mice,” the stewart stuttered.

Merlin flattened himself against the floor as the mattress above him suddenly moved and dipped in a dangerous way. Arthur’s naked calves appeared right in front of him. Now, the prince did yell.

“Do you have nothing else to do than bother me with this nonsense in the middle of the night? There was no shout and do you see any mice here?”

Well, Merlin did. Three of them, either idotic or suicidal, sat right in front of the fireplace, looking at the two men standing in the room. Merlin closed his eyes.

“Ah, no, Sire. Of course not. I’m sorry if I…”

“Get out!”

The stewart almost fell over his own feet in his haste to get away from the furious sounding prince. After his disappearance, Arthur went over to the door. The sound of it locking was very loud to Merlin’s ears.

Getting out from under the bed and facing Arthur was the right thing to do now. But Merlin couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it, he wasn’t brave enough. Hell, he wasn’t stupid enough. His problem got sorted out very quickly when he felt two hands on his ankles and in one quick motion Arthur drew him out from under the bed.

***

Merlin immediately tried to turn around and get back under the bed. Not that this was a very sophisticated plan or something, but it seemed like a good solution right now. But Arthur would have none of that. The prince grabbed Merlin at his waistband and kept him exactly where he was. Merlin stared up at the prince kneeling over him, his hands halfway in the air. Arthur stared down at him.

“So.” Arthur said.

Merlin swallowed hard. From his position on the floor, it was difficult to read the other man’s expression. One side of Arthur’s face was in the dark, on the other side the flames of the fireplace cast shadows over it. Merlin had no idea at all what Arthur was thinking or planning to do. At least, he had no maze in his hand. Yet.

“So,” Arthur repeated. “You’re a sorcerer.”

The Sorcerer was too scared to give a decent answer, let alone a snippy one. He just nodded. And then nodded again because there was no immediate response.

“Who taught you to use magic? Gaius?”

“No! Gaius has nothing to with it!”

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“Really! You have to believe me! I have done this stuff since I was a child, I was born this way.”

“Huh. And then you come here, to Camelot, where my father reigns and has everyone executed who has anything to do at all with magic.”

Gods. How could he explain everything without betraying Gaius? How could he explain anything? The dragon? Nimueh? Sophia? The Sword? Morgana? The prince would never understand or accept any of those things. The moment Merlin started to talk about one thing, he would let on about everything.

“Well?”

Merlin could just stare at Arthur. In his mind, words were tumbling over themselves, like the mice were earlier. There were half sentences but he wasn’t able to get one complete sentence out. He was scared, he was freezing although he knew it wasn’t cold in the room, and he felt alarmingly close to tears, all of a sudden. If he would bawl now in front of Arthur, he would kill himself. Uther wouldn’t need to be bothered.

Arthur looked at him for a while longer, then he abruptly stood up, hoisting the other man with him. He dragged Merlin over to the bed. “Sit down” he commanded.

Merlin sat. Numbly, he watched the prince go to the table and pour some water into a cup. Arthur came back and held the cup out to him. “Drink.” Merlin took it and promptly sloshed water all over his hands and pants. He hadn’t been aware that he was shaking so badly. Steadying his hand with two of his own, Arthur brought the cup up to Merlin’s lips. “Drink,” he said again. Merlin drank.

After swallowing the rest of the lukewarm water, he just continued to sit on the bed. He said nothing, stared down at his boots and waited for Arthur to carry on with the questions. Questions he wouldn’t have any answers for.

When Arthur started to speak again, it was indeed a question, just none of the questions Merlin had expected.

“Do you know how you look right now?” Arthur asked with a hoarse voice. “You look like you will shatter into a thousand pieces any moment.”

***

“I saw you looking like that two times already,” Arthur said. “The first time, after I left your side at Will’s funeral. When I looked back at you, your mother was standing beside you and you were still staring in the flames. I remember that I thought I should apologize to you. I should have done it. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to speak to you at all, I didn’t want to know what you may have been saying. Because… I think I knew then. But I didn’t want to.”

Merlin said nothing. Slowly turning the cup in his hands around and around, he just sat on the bed and listened to the prince.

After a few moments, Arthur went on. “The second time… the second time was on the day I woke up after being bitten by the questing beast. I wasn’t at my best on that day. You were standing there,” he pointed to the door, “and told me you would be proud to be my servant till the day you would die. I didn’t realize that you meant the day was already there. I knew something was going on. Maybe if I had felt better…” Arthur huffed quietly. “No, I’m not used to someone being unselfish. I’m not used to someone like you.”

Arthur sat down heavily beside Merlin.

“The next morning, it dawned on me that something wasn’t right. I went down to your room and found only Gwen with your mother there. She told me that she hadn’t seen neither Gaius nor you, and that she thought you had both left the castle. In that moment I thought… I thought I would never see you again. Never.” Arthur’s voice broke.

Merlin slowly raised his eyes and glanced at the prince. Arthur’s eyes seemed glued to the floor, his shoulders had slumped. He looked lonely, desolate. He looked like someone who needed a hug.

“After you came back, I couldn’t stand to let you out of my sight anymore. I know I went overboard, Merlin. Morgana asked me if I was stark raving mad. Gwen looked… dissaprovingly. Hell, even my father noticed something lately. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t let you go. Because, you know, I knew that I lo…” Arthur fell silent.

Say it, Merlin thought desperately. Oh please, please, please say it. Just once. Please.

The prince braced his shoulders, straightened up and looked at Merlin with his ridiculous and at the same time glorious brave expression in his blue eyes.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I’m sorry.”

Arthur still looked like he needed a hug. And who was Merlin to deny his prince anything? He drew Arthur into an embrace and Arthur went willingly. The prince buried his face into Merlin’s neck and clung to the other man as though someone to cling to was all he had ever wanted from life. Merlin clutched right back and started to kiss the top of Arthur’s head. For the first time in maybe an hour he had the feeling he could breath properly again.

He nosed through Arthur’s blond hair for a while and said, “I’m in love with you, too, Arthur.”

And there went the breathing because the prince embraced him even harder. Merlin tried to raise Arthur’s head and after a moment, the prince looked at him. Merlin smiled. Under the shock of messy hair, Arthur looked bewildered, happy, embarrassed and goofy at the same time. Irresistible. Merlin leaned down to kiss him, and the moment their lips touched, it felt like they had sealed a pact.

Moaning, Merlin pushed Arthur back on the bed. He felt Arthur’s hand combing through his hair and then his scarf went flying. Somehow the prince managed to get Merlin out of his shirt after that, only breaking the kiss for a moment. Merlin struggled to get his boots off and finally Arthur drew back from the kiss “What are you doing?” and turned them around until he was looking down at Merlin.

“Boots? Pants?” Merlin panted a little desperately.

“Yes. Good idea.”

And with that, Arthur went to work. After only a few minutes, both of them were naked, Arthur was back on top of him and Merlin thought, ‘Well, at least I won’t come in my pants now.’ He was absolutely sure he would be embarrassed in a very short time anyway. There was too much soft skin, the weight of Arthur’s body pressed him into the mattress in a too delicious way to hold on for much longer. Arthur kissed him again, and Merlin let his hands stroke down over the skin of the prince’s back, until he found his arse and then he squeezed slightly. Arthur immediately went wild on top of him and wiggled and moaned in the most fantastic ways. Then he suddenly lifted himself up on this elbows and stared down at Merlin, breathing heavily.

‘Now what?’ Merlin thought.

“Now what?” Arthur asked.

Ugh. “What do you mean, ‘Now what?’” Merlin said frantically. He felt close to a meltdown and Arthur wanted to talk?

“I don’t know what to do… what you want.” And with that, Arthur blushed all over.

Merlin stared at him. “Don’t tell me… you have done this before, haven’t you?” Although it seemed to be impossible, Arthur blushed even harder.

Merlin stared again. In his mind, a voice thundered MINE! ALL OF HIM! and he felt his magic pulse around them. Above him, Arthur’s eyes widened and his pupils dilated until there was only a small ring of blue left of the iris.

“Your eyes,” the prince said. “Gods, you are beautiful!”

While drawing Arthur back down on him, Merlin pressed his lips on the prince’s neck.

“We’ll figure something out, I’m sure.”

***

As Merlin had known, they figured it out, in an embarrassingly short time.

***

Afterwards, Merlin lay in Arthur’s arms, his head on the prince’s chest. He listened to the heart beating under his ear and felt Arthur’s hand stroking slowly over his back.

“Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“About my magic…” Arthur interrupted him.

“No, Merlin, not now.”

“But…”

“Please, not tonight. Tonight is just for us. Tomorrow you can tell me everything. I don’t think I will like everything…” Arthur snorted quietly. “Forget that, I already know I won’t like everything. But I promise you, that you have nothing to fear at all. Or anyone else you care about. Please, don’t be scared. I don’t ever want to see that look on your face again.”

Merlin snuggled closer to Arthur and closed his eyes while the other man kept on speaking.

“I’m not a complete idiot, you know? I even told my father that I’d had the feeling someone is watching over me. I think I’ve always known that this someone is you.”

“I will always watch over you, Arthur, for the rest of my life.” Merlin said. He straightened up a little and kissed the prince. Then he leaned back and looked at Arthur speculatively.

“So, you don’t want to talk about magic. What do you want to do?”

“Ah, I…” Arthur moaned as Merlin’s lips started to wander down on his body.

“That’s… Yes. Merlin. Merlin….”

***

 _Epilogue_

 _“…Merlin. Merlin!”_

 _The warlock startled. Looking to his right side, he found himself face to face with a very redfaced King. “Don’t you dare fall asleep on me here, Merlin!”_

 _“I’m not sleeping. I just… rested my eyes for a moment.”_

 _The King snorted. “I know exactly how you sound when you’re falling asleep,” he hissed. “You make that annoying grunting sound back in your throat.”_

 _“I do not!”_

 _“You do!”_

 _Merlin crossed his arms. “Well, maybe. But at least I don’t snore,” he whispered. “And don’t hiss at me, it’s all your fault anyway. You wore me out last night.”_

 _Another snort. “Wore you out? Are you getting old, warlock? There were times…”_

 _“Ah, my Lord…?” a voice from below hesitantly asked._

 _The King turned around to the courtroom with a sigh. “Excuse me, Lord Hunston. Please continue.”_

 _With a little grin, Merlin leaned back in his black chair beside the King. He tried to compose himself quickly, and regain his usual ‘I am the Royal Warlock and I’m mysterious’ attitude. He looked at Arthur affectionately. Twelve years. Twelve years since that marvellous summer night. Twelve years of going to bed with Arthur, and waking up in his arms. He didn’t regret one minute._

 _Suddenly the King leaned forward and Merlin knew this ridiculous dispute would soon come to an end; Arthur was losing his patience quickly. Merlin caught a glimpse at the woman on the king’s right side. He had to bite his lips to not laugh out loud. The Queen was fast asleep._

 _Sighing, Arthur leaned back again and then towards Merlin. “What do you think?” he asked quietly. “Please tell me you have any idea… what is it?”_

 _The Royal Warlock looked serenly at the King. “Arthur, do you know that Gwen is asleep right over there in her chair?” he whispered._

 _Arthur smiled. “Oh yes. I know. Lancelot returned to Camelot late last night.”_

 _Ah well. Then at least the First Knight had been able to sleep in today.  
_  
The End.


End file.
